Many of us dream of starting our own animal sanctuaries. In my world you hear this fantasy so often you'd think shelters would be as common as soy at a vegan convention.
After two decades of working at, and volunteering for, every ilk of animal rescue, in addition to attending seminars on founding sanctuaries, and driving past many more, I fancy myself quite knowledgeable on the basics of sanctuary operations. This is precisely why I don't start one.
Still, others have braver souls. So if I'm correct, and I am quite certain I am not, these are the basics of founding an animal rescue.
To begin with you need to buy a large piece of land with a reliable water source. These are only affordable in locations where no life could actually live. Next you need a detailed plan for robbing Tiffany's in New York. If successful, you will be able to put a minimal down payment on the structures and fencing necessary for housing the animals.
While construction is going on, run to the office supply store. Pick up 32,000 ink pens and a bathtub full of White Out®. Now begin the paperwork involved in founding a nonprofit organization. Also fill out applications for housing multiple animals within your state, county, town, city, cruise ship and/or ark.
Note: Nonprofits should have at least five members on their Board of Directors. Consider your options. Look for people with skills in marketing, business, accounting and fundraising. Of course, this is a futile search among animal people. But occasionally you may find one of us who can balance our checkbooks.
Once you've exhausted yourself with this whimsical, self-deluding fantasy of perfection, grab five animal lovers. Heads up! Each will believe they are the Jane flippin' Goodall of the dog world. As a result they will be convinced they know what is best for every mammalian species to evolve since the Triassic period.
Ultimately your Board of Directors will be composed of one perpetual whiner, one overbearing witch, two people incapable of compromise and the requisite vegan who takes every available opportunity to demand spinach as the facility's staple cat diet. FYI: If you stab this person with a letter opener, they will bleed green. At least that's what I've heard. I never actually . . . I mean.....accidents happen!
Moving right along. File, in triplicate, extra applications for housing the most basic wildlife, such as road kill squirrels, with Game, Fish and Parks, the Department of the Interior, the State Wildlife Managers office and The A.U.A. - don't ask.
Next, file the paperwork for insurance, payroll taxes, business licenses, dog licenses, driver's licenses and the ever popular License to Hold Three or more Licenses.
By the way, prior to filing anything, shred whatever forms you may have used White Out on. That's not allowed. Get yourself a bathtub full of gin and start over.
Okay, now organize your marketing plan. Consider marketing your reason for drawing every breath, only a tad more important than oxygen. If not, animals will come in ninety nine times faster than they go out. Ironically, money will go out ninety nine times faster than it comes in. Win, win? No, no!
You'll need a marketing/promo team who can maximize promotions at every opportunity. They must be capable of draining the smallest drop of publicity from every move your shelter makes. If they are doing their jobs right, Anderson Cooper and Barbara Walters should line up to mud wrestle for exclusive coverage of your annual dog jog. And of course, the loser should get the exclusive rights for coverage of the actual mud wrestling event.
Your PR team should even be able to see how saving a pug from a hangnail can be written up as a news release worthy of international distribution. Remember, this department is your rescue's life blood. Am I being too subtle?
While the mud wrestling pit fills with water, make sure you have a Keeper Staff whose total qualifications are not limited to having watched a full season of the Dog Whisperer, especially if you have a cat rescue. You don't want behaviorally challenged shelter dogs being pushed to the ground by behaviorally challenged animal handlers even if they have calluses on their remote control fingers. Again, not win-win.
It is vital to limit the scope of species you choose to work with. No rescue can be all things to all animals. Your facility will fill to capacity inside two weeks if you are not selective. Of course, if you limit yourself to just dogs or cats, you'll be full in one week.
In fact, if you can limit the scope beyond just the species you work with, it would help. To keep from getting overwhelmed, I recommend something along the lines of, Noah's Rescue for Two-Legged, FELV Positive, Calicos with One Blue Eye; or for dogs try, Bruce's Sanctuary for Dog Breeds over One Hundred Pounds and Starting with 'Z'.
Of course, parrot rescues can draw a line by only accepting animals whose owners actually put in the minimal sixty year commitment owning an exotic parrot requires from the beginning. Good luck finding those. The same theory goes for large tortoise species.
Don't forget to covet your volunteers. No matter how weird or pushy they are, practice saying, "thank you." Volunteers can do more than just clean cages and walk dogs. They enthusiastically tell people about their favorite animals available for adoption. They also contribute valuable life skills.
Have volunteers drive, teach, fundraise, do home inspections and yes, even write. They can compile mailing lists, build shelters, fix vehicles, give tours . . . Remember, without volunteers you have to do everything yourself. There is never enough time for that at any shelter.
By the way, if you feel that only you can care for the animals properly or you need to do it all yourself, you're just one teensy-weensy step shy of becoming the definition of an animal hoarder. Don't open a rescue!
Another consideration for your rescue will be how to go about placing animals. This is far more in-depth than hanging up an adoptions sign. What sort of applicants do you hope to recruit? Who will inspect the homes and when? Follow up on adoptions? Did you evaluate all animals involved for compatibility with other pets in the prospective home? Children? Teens? Males? Swimming pools? Loud dishwashers? Fear of floor tile? Funny? Yes. But, I am not kidding.
And finally, who is going to manage your membership program and publish your newsletter? A good membership program keeps you at the front of people's minds when they are looking to adopt, making out donation checks, wanting to attend an event . . . A great mailing list is like great sex. It should deliver multiple positive results every time! Sorry, guys. Deal with it!
Okay. I think we've touched on the minimum considerations for founding your nonprofit animal sanctuary. "Wait a minute, Nola, you ninny," you might be thinking. "How do I find the animals that need rescuing? You didn't cover that, you satirical, yet gorgeous, and brilliant, dream-stomping witch."
Thank you! Actually, I didn't need to cover the hands-on act of animal rescuing. You are about to meet every half-baked neonate who ever bought a kitten they didn't realize would eventually have a bowel movement. They'll start dumping their responsibilities on your step the moment your first fence goes up. It won't matter if the sign out front says, "Dyslexic, Orange-Spotted, Tree Frogs Sanctuary."
Follow up: If my article inspired you to learn more about founding your own sanctuary, then you weren't paying attention. Nonetheless, if you would like to learn more, the good folks at Best Friends Animal Society offer an excellent workshop for you. How to Start an Animal Sanctuary is an intensive, week-long class overflowing with specific details and considerations necessary for getting your non-profit shelter off on the right paw. I have attended the workshop myself and highly recommend it for anyone working in this business, or considering starting their own animal rescue. Visit the Best Friends website to learn more.
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